ERROR 11: FAULTY SUBORDINATION AND COORDINATION
Definition
Coordination joins two equal and equally important ideas using coordinating conjunctions (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so). Subordination joins two ideas of unequal importance, with the less important idea placed in a dependent (subordinate) clause using a subordinating conjunction (because, although, when, since, while, unless, if, after, before, until). Errors in coordination and subordination occur when the relationship between ideas is not expressed with the appropriate conjunction, when unequal ideas are treated as equal (faulty coordination), or when more important ideas are buried in subordinate clauses (faulty subordination).
Faulty coordination treats two ideas as if they are equal or parallel when one should be subordinate to the other. For example: ‘She was in the hospital, and she missed the meeting.’ These are not equal facts — being in the hospital is the cause of missing the meeting. Better coordination or subordination: ‘Because she was in the hospital, she missed the meeting.’
Faulty subordination, sometimes called ‘upside-down’ subordination, occurs when the main idea is placed in a dependent clause and the minor detail is given the main clause: ‘While the museum holds over 5,000 artifacts, it is located on Fifth Avenue.’ The location is minor; the artifact collection is the main point.
Rules
RULE: Express the most important idea in the main (independent) clause; place less important or explanatory ideas in subordinate clauses.
RULE: Use ‘and’ to join ideas of equal importance, not to string unrelated or unequal ideas together.
RULE: Choose the subordinating conjunction that accurately reflects the logical relationship between ideas (cause: because/since; contrast: although/even though; time: when/after/before; condition: if/unless).
RULE: Avoid excessive coordination — stringing together many clauses with ‘and’ creates run-on sentences and fails to show the relationships between ideas.
Examples
✗ She was exhausted, and she went to sleep immediately. [Coordination of unequal ideas]
✓ Because she was exhausted, she went to sleep immediately.
✗ While he earned a perfect score on the exam, he studied for three weeks.
✓ He earned a perfect score on the exam because he studied for three weeks.
✗ He is a good student and he sometimes misses class.
✓ Although he is a good student, he sometimes misses class.
✗ The earthquake struck at dawn and many people were sleeping and the damage was severe.
✓ Because many people were sleeping when the earthquake struck at dawn, the damage was severe.
✗ She is a doctor and she is also my neighbor.
✓ My neighbor is a doctor. [If one fact is more important, give it its own sentence.]
✗ While the movie received negative reviews, it won three Academy Awards.
✓ Despite receiving negative reviews, the movie won three Academy Awards.
✗ The professor is brilliant and she is often absent from campus.
✓ Although the professor is brilliant, she is often absent from campus.
✗ Since the water was cold and the children were young and they could not swim well, we stayed near the shore.
✓ Because the water was cold and the young children were not strong swimmers, we stayed near the shore.
✗ When he finally received the promotion after five years, the company announced record profits.
✓ After five years, he finally received the promotion when the company announced record profits.
✗ She loves her job, and the salary is low.
✓ She loves her job even though the salary is low.
Extended Dialogue
In this dialogue, high school student Isabella meets with her English teacher, Mr. Okafor, to review her argumentative essay.
Mr. Okafor: Isabella, your essay is full of ideas, but you’re using ‘and’ as your only connective word. Let me show you the problem.
Isabella: I thought ‘and’ was safe because it always works.
Mr. Okafor: It works grammatically, but it doesn’t communicate the relationships between your ideas. Look at this: ‘Fast food is cheap and it is convenient and it contributes to obesity.’ Count the ‘ands.’
Isabella: Two. Is that too many?
Mr. Okafor: It’s not just the number — it’s that ‘and’ treats all three facts as equally important and equally related. But they’re not. The last one — ‘contributes to obesity’ — is probably the most important and is the result of the first two. Try: ‘Because fast food is cheap and convenient, it has contributed to rising obesity rates.’
Isabella: Oh — ‘because’ shows that the cheap and convenient part causes the obesity problem.
Mr. Okafor: Exactly. Subordination shows cause-and-effect. Contrast uses ‘although’ or ‘even though.’ Let me show you another: ‘He worked hard and he failed the class.’
Isabella: That should be ‘Although he worked hard, he failed the class’ — right? Because ‘although’ shows the contrast.
Mr. Okafor: Perfect. Now here’s a trickier one — ‘upside-down subordination.’ You wrote: ‘While climate change is the most urgent issue of our time, it is often discussed in political debates.’
[Note: The more important idea — that climate change is the most urgent issue — is buried in the subordinate ‘while’ clause. The main clause states only that it is discussed in debates, which is less significant.]
Isabella: That’s backwards?
Mr. Okafor: The more important idea is that climate change is urgent. The less important detail is that it appears in debates. So: ‘Climate change, which is often discussed in political debates, is the most urgent issue of our time.’ Or simply: ‘Climate change is the most urgent issue of our time, frequently debated in political forums.’
Isabella: So I should put the BIG idea in the main clause and the smaller details in the subordinate clauses?
Mr. Okafor: That’s the rule. The main clause always gets more grammatical weight. Use it for your main point.
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